Friday, June 11, 2010

Sexy Boutique!?

So I'm researching lingerie today. Not a euphemism!

Who wouldn't to buy a titty holster, or frilly panties from a classy gent like me?!

Is pretending to be gay in an interview a bad thing? cougars lingerie shop?

WHO BUYS PANTIES AT VALUE VILLAGE?! cuz they're sellin'em!

~used once. small red stain~

From Woo to Ew!

Thursday, June 10, 2010

The Dork Side of the Moon.

I feel sorry for Mexicans. They always look so sad.

What are you known for holograph man?! Sliced bread!

I'm still sorry bread.

I have a best man. We\ll see if he really is... *squint*

BOD. Bong of Destiny. Book of Death. Badger of Destruction. Balls of Disaster. Beer of Drunk.

What WOULDN'T you do for a Klondike Bar? Anything, they fuckin' suck.

I have eaten while shitting, and drank while pissing, I still dont know what to do while wanking.

Octopus Vs. Buffalo. deathmatch.

     Is calling a sexy mexican a "sexican" offensive?

Did you know that...

Sarah enjoys the finger of authority!

Breakfast foods DONT make for good scrotal baggage.

and the letter W makes much more sense in French.

.lla si tahT


I have pancake balls.

My stomach is telling me to write.

Desperation is a stinky cologne.

Life as an actor would be fucking great. Pretending to be anyone Im not at the moment would be a refreshing change. That and the paycheck.

Coercion is one of the coolest words ever.

WOW! Meatballs!

If Chef Ramsay were a woman PMSing the world would end. Horribly.

Can you fit twice as many midgets in a phonebooth as normal sized people?

People need to learn the difference between stupidity and ignorance.

Chimps are cannibals, and thats fucked.

All pajamas should have booties on them. Shoes attached to your fucking pants people. argue that.

A law should be passed that allows anyone to slap a bitch once, when they get unruly. And I truly mean a BITCH. Male or female, whining, complaining, short tempered, annoying, BITCH.

The world would be such a better place.

Thats why I'm here. World betterment.

My brain is telling me I'm hungry.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010


 Its more than just a 6 letter word; its a 7 letter word.

Furries have deep pockets.

Neglecting my tasks makes me feel both simultaneously good and horrible. I dont understand this.

I believe 100% that a human being has already been cloned.

If i ran backwards with a camera for an entire day and then played it in reverse, I would be traveling forward backward through time. And thats a good thing.

Martha Stewart is  GIGANTIC CUNT. Capital letters make the truth more truthy.

Stephen Colbert is more god than you.

Balloons come in a variety of colours. As do jelly beans. As does fungus.

I have an ongoing struggle with fungus. It is not symbiotic.

I want a panoramic shot of the underside of a... I cant think of anything to end this sentence.


Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Im leaving this open for things to fly in. It makes sense to me.

Sometimes I think that cats have a secret agenda. Nothing too diabolical. But something. Oh yes, they're planning something.

Long ago in  a distant land, I Aku shape shifting master of darkness.....

The word bitchin, isn't very.

Being colourblind, even partially, sucks. I dont know what colours actually look like. Sadcowface.

Sometimes I'm still afraid of the monster that isnt under my bed.                            

One day Ill be more famous than jesus. or any other famous jew.

I want more than manything (not anything, just many) to see a planecrash. Just to see one fall out of the air and fireball on the ground. No one need be injured... just boom. Gravity wins bitch.

Were I birthed earlier I would have created slice bread, making ME the greatest thing since.

Faguruphelia is the severe lust for tribal drumming. Faguruphobics dont like Jumanji.

Robin Williams is a hairymouthfucker. that was supposed to say mother. I didnt change it.